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Expert Relationship, Marriage, and Family Counselling in Nanaimo, BC

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Breaking patterns

(Re)building trust

Healing hurts

"How did we get here?"

 

Each of us had dreams of what our lives should look like: a healthy, balanced, intimate relationship with our partner, and fun times of togetherness and connection within our families.

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So what happened?

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So often, we hear heartbreaking stories of pain and disillusionment from our clients.  Stories of broken trust, of drifting apart, of arguments that erode hope.  A cheating spouse.  An out-of-control teenager.  A family member with mental health issues. 

arguing couple in therapy
couples counselling

Relationships are precious and vulnerable things, and they need delicate and intentional care.  Often, we can do this mending on our own; but at other times we find ourselves fighting over the same things over and over, our needs unmet and invalidated by those closest to us.  When this happens (or when such issues as betrayal, lying, contempt, rage, or feelings of abandonment come in) we often need some helpful guidance in the form of family/marriage counselling. 

Couples Counselling

Experience and research show that it is important to look past the topical arguments, into the unmet needs that lie beneath the surface.  Unresolved arguments usually center on the things that happened rather than on what it is that may be causing the issues in the first place.  Fights about house cleaning/chores, for example, are usually more accurately about the need for appreciation and respect.  Coming to a point of recognizing this, and working through it, is difficult to do on your own: you’ve likely already had the same arguments over and over without making any progress and are instead growing further apart with each heated exchange.  A good couples/marriage therapist can help sort through the facts and perceptions, focus in on the emotional and practical needs of each party, and shift patterns away from conflict, toward resolution, peace, and connection. 

Marriage counselling success

But what if there's been an affair?

Extramarital affairs can devastate trust, and this often results in severed relationships and broken families.  But there IS hope!  We have a lot of experience working with couples where there have been affairs and breaches of trust (including physical, non-physical, online relationships, illicit imagery, etc.).  We've developed a blueprint for healing that has benefited many couples receiving family/marriage counselling in Nanaimo.

Couple in an affair
Happy family after counselling

Family Counselling & Parenting Support

Oftentimes, family conflict grows from seemingly small issues to massive ones that break relationships apart, lasting years and sometimes lifetimes.  The tension frequently spills over to others as people take sides, gang up, avoid, or gossip, making things even more complicated and painful. Sometimes this is parent-child conflict, at other times it involves other generations/extended family members, sometimes it seems that everyone is involved, and sometimes it seems like it is in fact handed down through generations in a defined pattern.  In any case, if your family has struggled and hasn’t been able to find solutions that work, a family therapist can be of huge benefit!

We Can Help!

Our team has decades of collective experience in the following family counselling situations:

  • Parent Coaching

  • High Conflict Parenting

  • Parenting after Separation

  • Separation/Divorce Planning

  • Sibling Conflict

  • Parenting in Adoption

  • Parent-teen Conflict

  • Blended Families

  • Inter-generational Conflict

  • Group Family Therapy

       (and many others)

Happy family all better

But Does relationship Counselling Work?

There's plenty of research on this topic providing definitive confirmation.

For example, in a 2017 research project carried out by MidAmerica Nazarene University, 1,000 couples who were either engaged, married, or divorced were surveyed regarding their participation in marriage counseling and its perceived benefits.

Out of the 1,000 participants, 49% acknowledged having undergone counseling. Interestingly, this figure rose to 51% when specifically looking at Millennial couples. However, the crucial question remains: did they find the investment of time and money in couple therapy worthwhile?

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The results?  "71% of those who have attended say that their experiences have ranged from helpful to very helpful. And of those who haven’t attended marriage counselling with a spouse, 52% are interested in trying it out.” (Blogs & Ideas | MidAmerica Nazarene University, 2017)

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Other Research Sources:  
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Disclaimer:  No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.

Our clinical director:  Ron Depner MC, RCC

Ron's career began working with children, adolescents and their families in hospital and treatment centre settings.  Following a Bachelor of Arts with a major in Psychology, he pursued a Master of Counselling.  Ron is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) with the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors.  He holds multiple advanced certifications and awards in areas of couples and individual counselling.  Ron oversees the clinical aspects of service delivery for The Therapy Place.

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